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A woman at the age 23 who had a body all the females would kill to have just finished modeling new clothes from France and feeling a little embarrassed she was sweating a bit once she was done. So here she was heading to her dressing room preparing to take a shower and to be honest she loved her job she really did, but lately she's been rather lonely these days she was thinking of taking a break from her job for a while and maybe find a lover or something "But Where do I start?" she muttered to herself as she reached her dressing room using a card key. Her name was Sarah Sarutobi and she closed the door and locked behind her and began stripping all her clothes off and jumped in the shower.
Ok so this is how your first entry should look for your introduction. First I noticed the main thing you did was capitalize a lot of words that didn't need to be that way. You should always try to avoid doing that and only capitalize words when talking about a person, a place like France, or at the beginning of a sentence or when someone is talking. If you have trouble with that kind of stuff I recommend using a device that can do spell checks to help you
Well you being a super fan Decided to do Something Daring you try to Sneak in my Room while I take shower and I caught you red handed I get the Idea since you look really cute to be a Baby and over I treat you so