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I can’t send any private messages until tomorrow, so I hope you’re okay discussing things here! I also use discord, and have no problem giving it to you if you’re on there.
As for needing diapers, my mind always goes to some form of incontinence: bed wetting, a weak bladder, some kind of injury that causes accidents. Or wearing could be completely willing. Mai has a little brother, maybe she misses/wants to relive her younger years because of him, and decides to wear in secret. That would be the only thing, no regressing since I remember you saying you don’t like that. If Zuko found out, there would be a lot of possibilities of what could happen next.
I'm thinking not yet, it could be something that gradually get there but it would likely be for the best if it was a fairly normal room at first. You can put a changing table in there first to begin with though.
I mean I was planing on her still being aware that she shouldn't be like this, but just that she would have trouble doing a lot of normal stuff. Would that make enough of a difference?