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You changed it almost completely. Two main characters practically reversed roles, are acting crazy for nő real sensible reason, and it had nő foreshadowing whatsoever.
Shaking things up in a roleplay is good. But why on earth would you need to 'Think on your feet?' You have literally infinite time to reply. This isn't a chat room roleplay, you can put plenty of thought into your posts. Before you 'shake things up' and alter it completely off course of what we planned and were going to.do originally, consider running it by the other person and thinking it through logically. Otherwise, nothing makes any sense and everything goes to Shit
But you could get your hands on some. You did. You drugged her. Which means the entire plot twist you made up makes nő sense at all. (Also, next time before you completely alter the storyline and direction of a roleplay, let me know.)
In that case, why did she go along with it after her mom left? For that matter, why didn't Jesse just drug Sarah's food and skip the whole insolent teenager thing from the start? If she had the drugs and this was planned, the mall trip and basically everything done to humiliate her and assert Jesse's control was completely pointless considering she didn't want control, and was paid to regress Sarah not put hersel in control.
Well nő shit Lilly is in charge, but someone doesn't go from cruel and calculating to whimpering crying infant in a minute. Not to mention; if Lilly was in charge why didn't she just come over of her own will without the charade of her being Jesse's last 'victim?'