terminator101 terminator101 is offline

Thanks.

Hehe well then. Maybe I'm just self conscious?

I know them irl but I also text chat with them. So you'd say my speech is definitely feminine huh? Heh well I guess I do use dear ,hon and sweetie a lot huh? Anything else?

So I got into a weird conversation the other day. Long story short someone actually stated that I'm not very lady like or feminine. They sited the way I talk/type, the way I dress and a lot of my interests. Normally that kinda thing doesn't bother me but I've been called this a lot recently and it's made me start to think about it. Now I know you and I don't know each other irl but we've spoken a lot on here and I feel like you know me well enough. So in your opinion am I not lady like or feminine?

Ok so like I wanna ask you something. Not sure if you actually would have a opinion on it though.

Very true but that's the problem with depression and anxiety. I overthink everything, get stuck in the past, worry about everything, fear that I am hurting or upsetting people and it's jist unnerving to deal with. Like I legitimately keep thinking of how I'm just a mistake. I wasn't supposed to be born. In fact, my parents tried to prevent me with birth control and yet here I am, just a mistake roaming around messing everything up. I grew up being bullied, fearing going outside. I hated being at school because my bully was in the same class as me. I began having panic attacks and depressive episodes at 10 years old as a result. In 6th grade we moved and I attended a different school and that bully chased me home threatening to kill me. I got lucky a neighbor was outside and stopped them. I finally snapped and became a bully and nearly broke someone's arm. I went from being bullied to being feared. It just sucks to know that not only was I a mistake, but I'm also a failure in everything I do. I can't design a good game by myself and can't seem to find anyone willing to help. I can't make my music a reality as basically no one wants to work with pre-written material. I'm stuck with ideas on paper and no way to really bring them to life the way I envision them. Even though I can play multiple instruments, I am not very good at them.

That is entirely possible. The freezer can be open for a bit which stops the fans from blowing for a few moments. It helps when no one got to put away the truck and it's just a clusterf**k in there. I am fast it takes about 30 minutes to put away between 75 and 100 items in the freezer.

Anything is possible I suppose. But I am also used to much colder at about -10°F due to being one of the people at work to put away the truck. I go from -10°F in the freezer to about 32°F in the cooler and back to about 64°F with an air conditioner blowing year round in the kitchen. My body is generally confused but I find it odd that I am colder with the ac blowing directly on me in the kitchen than I am in the freezer. Hell, even the breakroom is colder to me than the freezer.

Honestly I found that my body is super weird with the winter. I actually get colder with the more clothes I have on normally. There are times that more layers of warm clothes help, but normally less layers helps keep me warmer. I mean I've literally taken out the trash in about 1 foot of snow wearing a t-shirt, a diaper, socks and shoes and didn't feel cold at all (it was like 10°F outside and my dad kept trying to tell me it was a bad idea).

Thank you for that! I get lazy sometimes with research so I am glad you got that for me. Lol



No we're nowhere close to a sit down chain. Lol It gets hot in the kitchen year round. It is extremely rough wearing diapers in the kitchen, even more when I am in and out of coolers and freezers and putting truck away. I hate when I am in the freezer or cooler and I feel the warmth in my diaper when the rest of me is super cold. It's so weird since I don't feel it any other time unless I am clearing snow off my car in the winter. I have told just about everyone, I have absolutely no problem with being incontinent. I enjoy it.