It Happens to the Best of Us (PRIVATE for Toxic34)
 

Being the bassist / vocalist for the most bru- *ahem* second most brutal band in the world had its ups and downs. But for Jezebel, the frontwoman of Desecratrix, an all-female black metal band, there was a secret to her that, if revealed, would absolutely ruin her artistic credibility.

The band was on in ten minutes, as the opening act before tens of thousands of salivating fans. Prior to applying corpse paint, she had another issue to deal with...

The band was the opening act for none other than Dethklok. William Murderface barged into the dressing room. "Oh fuck! This isn't the game room!" He then sidled up to Jezebel. "Hey there. How's it hanging?"

"Argh," she growled, annoyed with the bass player's presence. "Oh. I'm doing all right, I just need to conduct some business before we go on stage. Y'mind, like... leaving me to some privacy?"

"Uh, sure. After I do some stretches." Murderface unzipped his pants to pull his dick out. Of course he did stretches to prep for the bass solo, but wanted to impress Jezebel and hopefully have sex with her.

Jezebel rolled her eyes, laughing a bit. She had to go really soon, and her limit on holding it in was approaching. "Impressive, uhh... specter, Mr. Murderface," she sarcastically complimented him.

"Oh, you're impressed!" Murderface said. He leaned in. "Let's go ahead and do it, right now!"

"Umm, William..." Jezebel interrupted, "I'll have you know that Desecratrix is going on stage in SEVEN MINUTES. I still have to apply corpse paint, and..." she could really feel the strain on her bladder now, more than ever. "I'll be right back," she said firmly, flatly and frankly, turning her back to Murderface as she tramped to the bathroom with purpose.

Murderface threw a tantrum all the way back to the Dethklok practice room. "Fucking chick bands! Why the fuck did we agree to this?!"

Meanwhile, Jezebel was practically running to the bathroom down the long hall in her black metal uniform with bullet belts and spikes and all to try and make it in time.

Murderface entered the Dethklok room. "Why the fuck did we agree to Charles' fucking stupid idea?" Skwisgaar Skwiggelf, the lead guitarist nodded. "Yeahs, we ams not in the betters places!" What he meant was that instead of the biggest stadiums and outdoor shows, this tour was a standard US arenas and amphitheaters excursion.

Jezebel just made it to the bathroom - barely. But removing her spiked belts and leather pants was a whole 'nother ordeal, and she ended up pissing her panties right before she seated herself on the toilet, and let out a defeated growl in embarrassment.

Meanwhile, the girls' manager knocked on the bathroom door. "Jezebel, are you all right?"

"Hell no I'm not all right! I pissed all over myself!" she yelled out, letting out another groan. She slapped her face, and then announced, "the show must on. If I have to go out there and play with pissed leather trousers, than so be it!"

"All right. Desecratrix is on in 10 minutes. Now let's make sure these hicks are wowed!" The tour was starting in West Palm Beach, Florida, and most of the people here did not hold the residents in high regard.

(Sorry about all the delays! I had to get a new keyboard, which is always fun...)

Jezebel made an attempt to clean herself off, before re-dressing her bottom half with the bullet belts and leather pants, and then going into the makeup room to apply her corpse paint. Then she grabbed her bass and walked out on stage...

(I understand exactly)

With that, the band took the stage of the Cruzan Amphitheatre, in front of 19,000 screaming people, appearing in a flash of smoke bombs and lasers.

Still with slightly dampened trousers, Jezebel broke out into their opening number, entitled "Strap-On Desecration".

The crowd was largely made of Dethklok fans, and many of them started booing the girls, throwing bottles at them, and shouting things like "Off the stage, skanks!"

This was great! Their taunts only fueled the anger in their performance.

The beat only went faster and the effects and strobe lights were flashing at an increased rate as well. Some audience members began to be converted.

As the band finished their opener set, Jezebel yelled "thank you, Florida! See you fuckers 'round next time!" into the mic.

The band headed off the stage. Their manager smiled. "Nice job, ladies! You destroyed them!"

"Thank you," Jezebel humbly amended, her voice hoarse and worn-out from all the screaming.

"Let's make sure to do even better in Orlando!"

"Absolutely - and maybe I won't piss myself next time!" Jezebel yelled, laughing, clearly already seeing the incident lightly.

(What's Dethklok up to?)

(Getting to it)

In Dethklok's dressing room, Skwisgaar looked at frontman Nathan Explosion as they finished preparations. "Sos, what you thinks about dis crappys, seconds-rates tour we ams doing?"

Jezebel and the rest of her band entered the dressing room. Sighing, Jezebel took a wet sponge to her face and began to remove her corpse paint.

Murderface grumbled. "Fucking ridiculous, you know! We don't have to take this!" Desecratrix's lead guitars knocked on the door. "Jezebel, are you all right?"

"I'm just taking off my makeup, that's all!" Jezebel admitted, washing herself off.

"All right." Nathan looked at Pickles, the drummer of Dethklok. "Hey Pickles, how you holding up?"

In reality, removing her battle makeup wasn't the only thing Jezebel was doing. She had planned for something like this. Jezebel was applying a diaper on herself.

"Eh, same old. Just need to finish this whiskey bottle, and I'm good to go!" It was 10 minutes before Dethklok's set.

Having taped up both tapes, Jezebel now had to dress into her street clothes.

Toki smiled. "Cheer ups, guys. We gots to puts on a goods show!" The rest of the band groaned. Meanwhile, the Desecratrix crew was already moving the gear to Orlando.

Jezebel struggled awkwardly to put on her camo print pants over her nappy, but managed somehow. Then came the studded belt, and finally, her tank top.

"Hey Jez. Ready to start off to Orlando?" the lead guitarist asked. Soon, Dethklok trudged to the stage for their set.

"Yes! Coming!" she yelled out, grabbing her bag.

(Sorry about the delay)

(It's OK, I don't judge)

They headed to the buses. Meanwhile, Dethklok were absolutely destroying the audience with their performance, even though it was quite uninspired by comparison to other ones.

Jezebel climbed aboard the tour bus and into her bunk for a much needed rest.

The rest of the band followed suit, falling right asleep.