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**terminator101** · December 14th, 20, 11:57 PM

Dear friends, acquaintances and fellow members,

For those of you who have been wondering why I've been absent from this site for a little over two weeks, the worst has finally happened to me. My family is in mourning as my beloved mother passed away on November 27, 2020, right after ThanksGiving, from Cardiac Arrest. She was 90 years old. The funeral was held last week on Tuesday, December 08, 2020. I can only find solace in the fact that she probably passed away painlessly in her sleep, as I was told by a rescue worker who tried to comfort me afterwards. Now I have the painful task of contacting the lawyer who handled the probate of my father's estate so that he can help me get a Letter of Testimentary for my mom's estate so that I can start to settle her final affairs.

Too many thoughts have been running through my head these past few days: Why didn't I see the symptoms of a pending Cardiac Arrest clearly to prevent it from happening? How do I continue on with my life now that both of my parents are gone? My parents have always been there for me with unconditional, loving support. Now that they're no longer with me, I feel so alone, especially now during the holidays. I haven't set up the family Christmas tree and decorative window lights and I'm not sure that I want to this year. I know that I still have the love of my sister and her family even though they are isolated in another state, for fear of the pandemic but the kind of loneliness that I'm talking about is more than physical and could only be understood by others who have already lost both of their parents (I found two heart felt articles that describe the pain and how to possibly manage it. See -> here and here). The loneliness that I'm talking about is best described by both the author of the first article:

"Not having a parent living in this world with you is like walking a tightrope and there's no net. Now, I don't mean a safety net in terms of finances or housing. I mean a safety net as having those two people who will always have your back. Even though you have friends and other family members, it is a feeling of being completely alone. It's final. ..."

And by the author of the second article whose mother passed away right after Christmas from Cardiac Arrest:

"... To me, the hardest part about it all is knowing that never again will I have someone in my corner who will drop everything for me and love me unconditionally and always have my back. It is a harsh reality which I am coming to terms with, but it is also so lonely - a lonely that being surrounded by a room full of people who love you doesn't seem to fix."

Unfortunately, losing both of our parents is something that we all must go through eventually as no one gets to [physically] live forever. Many of us have experienced the heart touching scene in the 1941 Disney feature film "Dumbo" where Dumbo the elephant reaches out to be reunited with his mother who is chained and locked up inside a circus train car and cannot reach him for the most part. She still lets him know that she loves and supports him unconditionally as she strains and reaches out her trunk to caress his face even though they are, for the most part, separated (See video of scene "Baby Mine"). This scene shall be one of the memorable things that will remind me of my mother's unconditional love for me and how much I miss her.

I don't know when or whether I will really be active on this site again but I'll still visit here to talk with friends via PM or VM. Perhaps one of them can also help me try to cope with my loss. If one or more of your parents are still alive then give him/her a hug and let him/her know that you love him/her.

December 14th, 20, 11:57 PM	#7
terminator101 Senior Member terminator101 is offline Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Right behind you! Posts: 3,671	Dear friends, acquaintances and fellow members, For those of you who have been wondering why I've been absent from this site for a little over two weeks, the worst has finally happened to me. My family is in mourning as my beloved mother passed away on November 27, 2020, right after ThanksGiving, from Cardiac Arrest. She was 90 years old. The funeral was held last week on Tuesday, December 08, 2020. I can only find solace in the fact that she probably passed away painlessly in her sleep, as I was told by a rescue worker who tried to comfort me afterwards. Now I have the painful task of contacting the lawyer who handled the probate of my father's estate so that he can help me get a Letter of Testimentary for my mom's estate so that I can start to settle her final affairs. Too many thoughts have been running through my head these past few days: Why didn't I see the symptoms of a pending Cardiac Arrest clearly to prevent it from happening? How do I continue on with my life now that both of my parents are gone? My parents have always been there for me with unconditional, loving support. Now that they're no longer with me, I feel so alone, especially now during the holidays. I haven't set up the family Christmas tree and decorative window lights and I'm not sure that I want to this year. I know that I still have the love of my sister and her family even though they are isolated in another state, for fear of the pandemic but the kind of loneliness that I'm talking about is more than physical and could only be understood by others who have already lost both of their parents (I found two heart felt articles that describe the pain and how to possibly manage it. See -> here and here). The loneliness that I'm talking about is best described by both the author of the first article: "Not having a parent living in this world with you is like walking a tightrope and there's no net. Now, I don't mean a safety net in terms of finances or housing. I mean a safety net as having those two people who will always have your back. Even though you have friends and other family members, it is a feeling of being completely alone. It's final. ..." And by the author of the second article whose mother passed away right after Christmas from Cardiac Arrest: "... To me, the hardest part about it all is knowing that never again will I have someone in my corner who will drop everything for me and love me unconditionally and always have my back. It is a harsh reality which I am coming to terms with, but it is also so lonely - a lonely that being surrounded by a room full of people who love you doesn't seem to fix." Unfortunately, losing both of our parents is something that we all must go through eventually as no one gets to [physically] live forever. Many of us have experienced the heart touching scene in the 1941 Disney feature film "Dumbo" where Dumbo the elephant reaches out to be reunited with his mother who is chained and locked up inside a circus train car and cannot reach him for the most part. She still lets him know that she loves and supports him unconditionally as she strains and reaches out her trunk to caress his face even though they are, for the most part, separated (See video of scene "Baby Mine"). This scene shall be one of the memorable things that will remind me of my mother's unconditional love for me and how much I miss her. I don't know when or whether I will really be active on this site again but I'll still visit here to talk with friends via PM or VM. Perhaps one of them can also help me try to cope with my loss. If one or more of your parents are still alive then give him/her a hug and let him/her know that you love him/her.