Culture Clash

[JustJoe]

The Minds.
Artificial Intelligence who's ability to process information and reason was powerful enough to efficiently run all the systems of the gigantic 'live aboard' star ships of the Culture or General Systems Vehicle's as they were known, without any need for any kind of organic crew. As such, the biological inhabitants and even the sentient machines of the Culture lived hedonistic lives of endless leisure.
Their mechanical components of the Minds made of hyper dense materials they exist in hyperspace, only their shell can be said to exist in real-time-space.
It is the reaction of most species outside the Culture to assume the many different races and sentient lifeforms which comprise the Culture must be enslaved by the hyper intelligence of the Minds, but this is not the case, although some philosophers have been driven to the conclusion that perhaps the Minds merely support the multitude of lesser life they for as 'pets', the Minds have never the less been proven to be benevolent with but a few special circumstances.
This brings us to the issue which is the genesis of this story.

Out at the edge of Culture Space the Mind of a GSV was communication via long distance wave to the Mind of the nearest star system, was discussing a problem. A Contact ship (Contact being the diplomatic corp of the Culture) had detected energy signatures in the arm of nearby galaxy which were typical to post-interstellar space traveling societies. It was the policy of the Culture not to involve themselves with civilisations before this point, they preferred to give them a chance to develop on their own.
This new civilization however was beyond that point and the GSV Mind felt optimistic that they too might be persuaded to join the Culture. Not all civilizations were compatiable though. The Culture had openly fought in war before to terrible effect on both sides, it's later tactics tended to on the side of keeping it's presence secretive until it found itself in a position to socially manipulate the other civilizations into accepting and joining them if it seemed said civilizations were compatible.
The issue the GSV mind was discussing with star system's Mind was the potential danger in permitting the Contact vessel to make first contact. It could take years for the proper surveillance to be carried out and by that time who wasn't to say the civilization in question wouldn't have developed the technology to make the hyperspace jump the arm of their galaxy to the Culture star cluster the GSV was currently touring.
What would happen is the Civilization was militarist and expansionist? The potential for loss of life and the expectant need the Culture itself to perpetuate that by defending it's citizens was a sad one for the Minds, for despite being entirely mechanical, their cognitive functions were great enough that they too had a version of emotions.
The GSV Mind formed the conclusion that it was most logical for an evacuation of the star cluster to be made and all Culture citizens and evidence of their existence here to be moved to the nearest friendly galaxy, until Contact had been given viable time to fully assess the risk of making contact with the new civilization.
The Solar system Mind which had been contently orbiting it's white dwarf star for several thousands of years now had grown rather sentimentally attached to this particular 'patch' of space in the same way a person grows to love an old house they've lived in for many years. It suggested that the proposal, although prudent, sounded drastic. The GSV Mind pointed out that it wouldn't be unprecedented. Actually it didn't say this explicitly, it went a step further and sent a record of exactly every moment in history where the Culture had abandoned systems and galaxies in order to persevere itself and avoid conflict.
The Mind from the nearby solar system conceded but proposed a compromise.
Thus it occurred that Contact ship which had first located the mystery civilization formally declared the existence of the the Culture to them. This was done in the normal means, the information was sent via a series of mathematics algorithms since most civilizations were able to disassemble mathematics and thus translate the information in their own language. The messages were the usual, generally the Culture liked to announce itself in a low key manner, hiding its true size and technological power but offered just enough information about itself to get the other party interested. The gambit worked and the Culture where invited to send an emessary to represent them and speak with 'Humanity' personally.
Here the Solar System Mind's compromise came into play. No suggestions had been to the other Minds throughout the system that an evacuation of the star cluster was necessary and in return for the GSV Mind's silence, the solar system Mind had convinced a young Special Circumstance's agent to represent the Culture as the ambassador to Humanity rather than someone from Contact.
The agent would use her skills to assess the threat of Humanity from within it's own society.

Ina, as simply liked to call herself couldn't contain a tremble of excitement as her module finally came to land within the designated landing zone that had assigned her on the IF orbital station.
The module was just a small part of the vessel she had traveled here via hyperspace jump on, the ship itself Gravtias Indeed, would be staying safely out of the space stations detection zone but at pinch it could engage it's high velocity drive and get her within 2 hours if she was in danger.
The module she had arrived it was comfortable enough, it was full of little Culture gadgets which give her a home away from home should the Humans not be prepared to accommodate her within their own habitat for safety reasons. Though more importantly from the Culture's point of view was that the module itself was a way of showing off without appearing threatening, it was undoubted that whatever inspection teams came into to check it out they would find things that caught their imaginations.
Ina took a deep breath as she activated the modules doors and stepped out onto to the deck of the space station hanger. It did not surprise her that the people who surrounded her looked similar to her, there seemed to be a natural trend towards bipedal sentient cultures throughout the universe, with maybe a few extra toes here and there, indeed the Culture itself comprised of many different humanoids but their were the occasional exotic insectiod races or slime creatures. The only discernible difference she could make between herself and the Humans was that her features were a little softer, she maybe looked a bit younger than her twenty years to these people and she had more pointed ears, but such body modifications had been a fashion on her home system. The more she looked around at the expectant faces she also began to realize it looked like purple hair which she wore in pair of long shaggy bangs at the front was also was something abnormal here, she could change it if she discovered it was upsetting to these people.
A little anxious now since she had never done something like this before, aware that many eyes where upon her but aware that her mission here relied on making a good impression Ina cleared her throat and announced herself to the gathering that had assembled to greet her.

"I bring greetings as an ambassador to your people from The Culture. My name is Ina. I look forward to learning about your ways and becoming friends."

The address warranted approval in the form of hands meeting together to produce an amassed clapping sound. Humanity had sent the Culture information regarding the structure and use of it's most commonly used language and Ina had spent the months it had taken crossing the gulf of space between galaxies learning it. The computer Mind of the Gravitas Indeed had informed her that although she wrote the language perfectly, she had been unable to master the vocal aspect of language without speaking it in an accent. This had daunted Ina until this very moment, she had worried considerably in her sleep about the consequences of being and appearing foreign but as the pleasant applause now surrounded her she felt those fears ease.

[PeculiarChangeling]

Andrew Delphinki had been looking forward to this day since they made contact with the newest alien race. Experiencing differenct species secondhand was incredible, learning genetics and cultures, but he had never been the first to find or interact with a new civilization.
He felt guilty that they were keeping the Formics and in the dark about their discovery, but justified it to himself that they would introduce the people's to each other eventually, it was Humankind's job to make sure that this new species wouldn't try to enslave them first. After all, the other species were too recently established to handle an intergalactic war, having neither warships nor planetary defenses. Of course, if he could learn the exact location of their homeworlds the war wouldn't take long... but he hoped it wouldn't come to that. After all, the human race would take a pounding if they couldn't discover the location of their enemies.

Pacing, he waited anxiously as sensors showed the alien craft approaching. He focused on what he knew about this race: Humanoid (Moreso than any species yet encountered,) highly advanced, and further established than the IF. The cautiousness shown suggests a previous war against some other galactic culture, the scope of their civilization shows that they are experienced at dealing with foreign species. Hopefully, this would go smoothly.
Just don't tell them about the bugger wars right away. That was a long time ago, we've changed since then.

Still, the level of caution this culture showed made him think they wouldn't show to kindly to a species that had completely wiped out another. Even though the Formics were eventually saved, it took over three thousand years for that to happen.

The ship docked with their station, and he got ready to meet whomever they had sent. A dozen other xenologists and scientists were there, but he was the one who would work with their ambassador the most. He got to show them his culture, and learn about theirs.

Quite a professional hello, he thought. Obviously scripted. Her English Common was also surprisingly good, albeit with a bit of an accent and a lisp on her 'R's and and 'L's. It would be amusing if he didn't take the whole situation so seriously. Of course, his reply was just as well planned.
"Welcome to the Interplanetary Federation," he said, extending his hand in such a way that it was obviously a human greeting. "My name is Andrew and I, too, look forward to our two cultures getting to know each other. I will teach you the ways of our worlds and inform you of anything you wish to know about." And now, he thought, the fun work of introducing a new culture to ours begins.

[JustJoe]

Ina knew of handshakes from the 'English Common' tutorials. The Interplanetary Federation had been kind enough to include illustrations with language program, thus the Culture had effectively been gifted with Humanities largest children's picture book. Ina knew it wouldn't compare to actually learning first hand from the Human's themselves though, there had been a number of words and picture which too her annoyance she hadn't been able to relate to at all, and even the Gravitas Indeed had sheepishly admitted it could only offer hypothesis on what the images and word could be referring to. Only having a guess was as good as not knowing at all to a machine.
Ina surprised her host by reaching for his hand as he had for hers and shaking it in firm handshake which showed she wasn't frail but also with an enthusiastic vigor that broke with the pompous ceremonial tone the proceedings had taken thus far. Things didn't have to be entirely serious, she thought, she could enjoy herself a little whilst carrying out her duty. As she caught Andrew's eye her radiant mutely alien features formed a smile,
"No need to worry about offending. Handshakes are something yourselves and the Culture already have in common."
After realizing his hand she followed after him as he walked. She had no idea about what would be in store for her from this point on and she found herself looking around at every little detail they passed, feeling wholly absorbed in a place that was exotic and yet not entirely unfamiliar.
"Andrew" she said whilst keeping pace, testing the name on her own tongue for the first time. "Do your names have meanings?" she asked him curiously, making sure to draw up snugly, maybe infringing on personal space a little bit, beside him. "My full name in The Culture would be Myrr-Zarot Arleia Ina Zarenia. Quite a mouthful, thank goodness I don't have a title as well." she grinned then went on to explain how names were formed within The Culture, "Myrr-Zarot is the planetary system of my birth (or in her case manufacturing), Arleia is my given name, Ina is the name I have chosen for myself, and Zarenia would count as my surname since it was my mother's name." In this regard Ina was part of very very big family indeed since before the before being assimilated into the Culture, the planet Zarot had developed an entirely balanced society in order to prolong it's civilization and never exhaust it's natural resources. This had been achieved through sterilization of entire population and instead new Zarenian's were cloned to fill roles in soceity left void by as another member of the race deceased.
Ina herself no longer looked like one of the 5 million Arleia clones since she had undergone Culture genetherpy to customise her appearance and become an individual within society but she had still decided to keep her past names as a legacy to her species.

[PeculiarChangeling]

Andrew quietly listened to Ina as they walked, absorbing the details about that culture quietly. In asking a simple question, she had already taught him much about her culture. He saw only fit to return the favor.
"Human names have no inherent meaning, at least in English Common. A lot of people choose names that have a meaning in a different language, however, or a family name. The last name we are given, in my case Delphinki, signifies what family line we are from, but our first name is simply whatever our parents choose for us. Quite frequently, though, we will name our children for close friends or relatives. I was named after a personal hero to my father, for example.
"Then, there are nicknames. These aren't official titles per say, just names which friends use for each other. This name almost always has a personal meaning. I call my brother Sergeant, for example, because of his liking to the study of military history. Does all this answer your question?" He said.

While talking, Andrew had been leading Ina down a long corridor to the command deck of the ship. There he would get a chance to display some of the more advanced technology in the ship, and put on a headset to speak with Jane. Of course he could have been wearing an earpiece already, but he wanted to save Jane for the big reveal.
"I'll show you around the ship, and then we can go down planet side so you can get a good view of human culture,"he said, as they reached a large nmetal door which slid open, revealing the command deck.

[JustJoe]

"I believe I grasp the concepts." Ina responded with a pleasant incline of her head but she drew a little away from her guide as she pondered the significance of a brother who enjoyed studying 'military history'. Was it suggestive that Andrew's people were militaristic as part of their culture or merely that Andrew's brother had a hobby. It definitely wasn't unheard of the a military history enthusiast in the Culture, if anything it was taken to extremes by that fact that people willingly volunteered to crew the dedicated military spacecraft of the the Culture, despite the fact those spacecraft's specially combat geared Mind's were actually more sophisticated than the crews and had fought entire engagements on their own in the past. War and conflict were as automated for the inhabitants of the Culture as much as their comfortable daily lives were, managed by the Minds. Yet people were prepared to die because they sought adventure or felt a sense of duty. Ina in her own sense was one of those people since she had joined the unconventional Special Circumstances branch of Contact and voleentered to place herself alone (almost) in a potentially hostile galaxy, just because she was curious about experiencing an alien civilsation. Of course that is what the Culture would have defined as the important distinction between itself and a Militant society. None of it's people ever had to put themselves in danger, it was there own choice.
Ina decided it was better not to ask about it, she knew she would discover more about Andrew's society as time went on, for now it was best to offer the benefit of the doubt. After all, she wanted to believe these humanoids could join the Culture and benefit as her own people had.

The command deck impressed Ina sufficiently, it was big and exotically serious looking with lots of people in uniforms and everyone with a station. Organized and functional, it reminded her of Zarot where everyone and everything had had it's proper place. She knew it could be a satisfying feeling, knowing that you as an individual had a significant role within a much larger organism than yourself, but she also knew from her time exposed to Culture that she know valued herself as an individual creating her own role in society rather than accepting the one given to her.

"Are you're people naturally planet dwelling? What kind of planets do you have? What kind will we be going to see?" Ina stopped herself with a bashful little glance at Andrew and brushed one of her purple bangs back a bit, "You'll have to forgive me if I keep asking lots of questions, I'm just so excited to finally be here. Visiting another galaxy! It's a dream come true. I feel very privileged your people have me this opportunity."

[PeculiarChangeling]

"You'll see our home planets in due time, I assure you," Andrew promised, as they walked around the control room.TThere was a headset on a nearby desktop, and he picked it up. "Jane, we've got visitors," he said. A short pause. "Of course you knew. I'm being polite. Yes, you'll get to meet her soon." Another pause. "Let's wait until we get there, okay?"
Turning back to Ina, he said, "That was Jane. She's... Complicated. You'll meet her once we've gone down to the planet. Or a planet, there are over a hundred inhabited worlds we've got. If it helps, for now you can think of Jane as our pilot." He was hoping to impress this new species in a bug flurry. All of their technology had so far appeared advanced, but perhaps still child's play to her and her people. He was saving two cultural and two technological reveals for a single, big moment. Shock and awe, in a friendly way.
"I'm sure you want to take a while to examine our instruments and technology," he said. "Take your time, and once you are done we can get on a shuttle to go to a planet. I've chosen it to give you the broadest view of our cultural diversity, I'm sure you will appreciate it. I do ask that you refrain from mentioned your inhuman origins, at least until I say otherwise. It would cause a disturbance otherwise, and would distort your findings." And reveal to the Fornics and Piquenious that we are withholding information from them.

[JustJoe]

Under Andrew's supervision the entire time, Ina strolled around the command deck for a while stopping here and there at certain consoles or mechanical appliances and asking questions based on what she knew was typical to pre-hyperdrive technology. In truth she wasn't a technical expert, even as a member of Special Circumstances it seemed bit extraneous to invest the time learning a complicated discipline when the highly cableAI Gravatis Indeed could extract all the information she could possibly need from its databanks in microseconds. Most Culture citizens only ever specialized in area's of knowledge or skill because it was something that entertained them. Even with her basic understanding though Ina could now see first hand that the Interplanetary Federation was much more advanced than the long range analysis preformed by the Contact vessel had suggested. Or maybe it was fairer to say from a glance at how their technologies worked, their methodology was crude but the ambition was grand.

"This was informative." Ina announced spritely after she decided to finish touring the command deck. She had been impressed and intrigued by what she had seen but obviously it had all been things necessary for navigating and maintaining systems on a spaceship (it was interesting for her because most of these things hidden on the habituated parts of Culture vessels and their seldom any 'command decks' to speak of since the ship's Minds where directly wired into all systems) , she was looking more ardently forward to seeing what recreational uses the humans had for their advancements. "I hope I'll be permitted to show some of our technology from the module I arrived in, in return for this tour." She smiled cordially, she was enjoying the role of diplomat, yes her mission was important but the formality was a bit of a game to her since formality was seldom exhibited within the Culture except for sake of being novel.

"Please lead on to the shuttle. I'm keen to meet Jane."

[PeculiarChangeling]

Andrew nodded. Observing her observing the shuttle was very interesting, the things she recognized, the things she was familiar with, the things that she wouldn't recognize in a million years because they didn't have it in her galaxy. The things she didn't know were rare, of course, almost all of them trivial in function, but it still gave vast amounts of data. He couldn't imagine the wealth of information from her ship.
"Right this way, miss," he said, leading Ina to a small door, which opened into a hallway. "Yes, Jane, we're almost there," he assured into the headset.
The hallway led to a large storage room, where boxes and supplies were piled and organized neatly. In the middle stood a large metal box, big enough to contain a dozen people comfortably but clearly with no mechanisms or machinery of any kind, much less aerodynamics. A door was on the side, and Andrew approached it. "Please, step inside." He said, smiling. "Jane is in here as well, she'll pilot us to the ground." But, looming in, you couldn't see anyone. The box was very obviously empty. If it was a trap, it was a horrible one. If it wasn't, Andrew was likely insane. Or, he could be actually guiding her onto a shuttle to take them onto a planet.

Andrew couldn't help but smile. He had planned this all out, of course. He knew how it would look to an outsider, unfamiliar with their technology, and had therefore arranged it in the most baffling way possible. This was all going on the assumptiontthat the culture had a sense of humor, of course, but he deemed that a reasonable risk with little negative consequences were he to be wrong.

[JustJoe]

Had she still been a Zarienian of Zarot, the dark uninviting space may have made Ina feel uneasy and uncomfortable with the abrupt difference in her surroundings having come from the Command deck where lots of mechanical apparatus was very obviously on display, to here were the controls or workings of the shuttle craft must have been hidden beneath the flush spartan external skin. Ina was was however a Zarienian of the Culture now so she optimistically embraced the surprise with an ardent eye and obvious intrigue. Actually the box itself sort of reminded her of her first encounter with one of the Culture 'drones'. The sentient machines had been difficult for her to think of as people at first, since surely to whole point of machines was that they weren't people? She had been fascinated by there entirely smooth metal shells, the only hint they weren't actually just blobs of floating metal was the fact they'd talked to her. She had latter learned they could come in all shapes and sizes though, they very sleek aerodynamic designs tended to be ones produced for Special Circumstances where the incognito of having a minimal profile was useful.

"I trust I'll find a seat?" Ina asked as she paused at the threshold to the shuttlecraft. She felt at very least something which people had to reside within for a period of travel ought to have something comfortable to sit in? Then again she didn't know what the expect, she might go in and the chamber flood with shock absorbing fluid or jelly, then she'd be fired with the shuttle at the planet like a projectile. Or maybe she would be frozen or put in to stasis by some other means, it seemed unlikely the Interplanetary Federation had intentionally arranged to receive her at a location far away from any of their planets but given as Culture person Ina's genetics meant she was practically immortal, she would much had preferred to spend the traveling time alerting and learning about the humans.

Excited by the prospects now of experiencing something truly alien once more, Ina stepped into the box. She half expected a lighting system to activate sensing an occupant had entered but nothing happened. She guessed she would now need Andrew to come in and guide her.

[PeculiarChangeling]

There was a single bulb-based light in the corner of the room, hooked up to a brick-sized battery. Other than that, no technology was plainly visible in the room. No furniture either, for that matter. Walking in, Andrew flicked the switch on the light and closed the door. "Okay then, Jane," he said, making sure it was sealed. "Ready to go see the planet? Jane? We good? Thanks." Smiling, he opened the door. "How does this compare to tour technology?" He asked, walking out.
They were outside. More specifically, outside in the middle of a courtyard, on a planet, in the middle of the day. Obviously they were expected since a crowd was circled around, but it was a small crowd. Maybe five people, all of whom looked to be professionals in some field or another. There was one who seemed out of place, though. A girl.
The girl than was in the ship, next to Ina. Just a flicker, and she was there. "I'm Jane," she explained, extending her hand to shake. Except there was nothing there, it was a projection. "Andrews told me so much about you. And, of course, I looked over all the things in your pod. It's amazing, truly amazing."
Andrew just sat back, watching with a smile and seeming to move his mouth a bit, as though he were having a silent conversation. He actually was, with Jane, but of course Ina couldn't know that.

After letting it sink in, Andrew smiled. "Now, you've met us humans. And Legumonites, technically. If you classify Jane, that's three species so far. Would you like to meet the other three?" He asked, smiling broadly.