DL/AB puberty fetish disorder

[tkb]

So i was wondering if anyone here got this same problem particular through puberty when i was suppose to get attracted to women i was like O Diaprers are pretty cute and started to fantasize about them (stimulated by some cartoons).
Then later i was seeing myself in the charachters i made up that did need to be become babies or where forced to wear diapers for whatver reason and make complicated stories around that.

Through that i also developed a thing for humiliation this includes being made fun of for having to wear diapers/being a adult baby and being cared for by others.
But also started to include cosplaying cute naive innocent mascot charachters and then act really scared and wanting to be protected at one photo shoot i even got a girl to feed me candy and things like that.

It may all be fun and games but then you come to the realization that you haven't developed any real feelings for girls but rather wanna be taken care by then like a baby and not have a real relationship.
When some internet friend was talking about going to get some girls and doing things i even hastly said that they would be having sex with him and put me in Diapers and feed me ...
Also the fantasies gotta be more crazy everytime to the point i'm sometimes kinda indifferent about it myself and sometimes have a hate relationship with it myself.

And certainly as far as the meaning of human life acording to nature goes reproduction i kinda feel like a failure since at some point i went wrong.
And at some days these fantasies are holding me from sleep although it more goes in waves for a good while i don't care about it but then there's a deep desire for like a few days.

I also need to mention to make clear that i'm far past puberty now (mid 20's) and it already feels like there's no way back ...
And for the longest of that time i never did got to wear any real diapers so i was forced to hold back being more focused on the fantasies inself.
Though i once stole a baby diaper that was just there for the taking and was making fake ones myself with no powder which wasn't really a good idea.
It was only more then a decade later (13 some years) 2016 that i happen to come across a website and coudn't help myself i might have gone through like 150 diapers since.

So has anyone here gone through something similar or can help me with this ?

[Silverkitten]

hmm...so sounds like your more AB than DL correct?, well i have gone trough similar but not exact, and souns like u are male right?

i can tell you right now yes there will be some woman who would probably love to baby you, its just a matter of finding the right one

if u are anything like me your probably shy when it comes to talking about this so chances are you dont know any abdls in your comunity, so unless you find a girl who will accept this from u i will suggest online dating

if you serch up abdl dating in your web browser you should see abdl match, be careful with this one as i have tried it, the people on it don't really care if your straight or not, but other than that it seemed decent,

i however am currently in a long distance with a girl i met on here (diapered anime), its working so far, we mainly talk on email, (i don't like Facebook etc... to much drama and politics), its been bumpy but good, i won't give details,

best thing to do is try finding a girl u like locally, mabey go on a few dates, but wait to tell her this stuff until you have that bond of trust, and DONT rush it, if that doesn't work you can always try online

[tkb]

Originally Posted by Darkkitten

hmm...so sounds like your more AB than DL correct?, well i have gone trough similar but not exact, and souns like u are male right?

i can tell you right now yes there will be some woman who would probably love to baby you, its just a matter of finding the right one

if u are anything like me your probably shy when it comes to talking about this so chances are you dont know any abdls in your comunity, so unless you find a girl who will accept this from u i will suggest online dating

Yes i'm obviously male
And first it was just Diapers but i suppose it kinda got old and i wanted more but i'm still kinda in between DL and AB i guess.
And really shy and naive to the point that some people find it (almost) adorable.
It doesn't help that i also have autisme then it's even more easy to just like it go cause i have to put in effort not to stand out to much ...

On the other hand if i would actually go along with a girl that would want to baby me that would make me all the more vulnerable.
Not that i have ever really searched for any relatioship or ever had any real one in the past.

But i would still love to hear your story since you said it's kinda similar (if you really don't want to it's okay.

But the problem isn't just with a relationship it's also that a part in me doesn't want any of this but primitive urges win it sometimes i guess.
After all being a baby is apparently become my replacement for sex ...

Like these fantasies go from me becoming a baby at a freakshow to being forced to be a baby for halloween or being the baby mascot of some super hero team.
Or abducted by aliens and being there alien pet or something
Or just getting caught and being forced to go 24/7 and being made fun of.

I also had to wear diapers as a kid until just one week before kindergarten so i was like 4 1/2 almost so it woudn't have been far off or i might have never gotten out of it and not even be allowed in.
I still think that may have had some had some influence i can even remember getting a Diaper change not so weird considering i was like 4+ ...
https://autism.lovetoknow.com/autism...ildren-diapers