What do you do if you encounter a bully?

[LittleLiam117]

Originally Posted by brabbit1987

Excuse after excuse.

I am starting to fear that is all you can do. Give them excuses.
Adults bully too, you just see it less often because there are consequences involved. Unlike when you are a kid .. you actually get disciplined. Sent to jail. Fined.

Because everyone is too afraid to discipline a child. And they give them excuses ... much like you do. This is why bullying never seems to lessen. Heck .. even spankings are now controversial .. omg .. abuse!

It's so stupid >.>

There's detention, there's grounding, there're plenty of prison-esque systems for youth to deal with as consequence. It's seen less in adulthood because, with maturity, people realize that it's wrong.

And no, that's not an excuse, that's a scientific fact. That's like me asking you to fly by flapping your arms, you explain to me that you can't because your arms are NOT wings, and then I call it an excuse. A scientific reason is not an excuse.

Hitting a child is wrong; unless it's by another kid, and only in certain circumstances. Children are much like dogs, actually, believe it or not. They're like dogs in the sense that, screaming and hitting will only make things worse. By hitting a child you teach them that, when someone isn't doing what you want, you should hit them and make them do what you want. That's not a smart lesson to teach.

[brabbit1987]

Originally Posted by Mute-Hexyz

Brabbit, liam is trying to help just like the rest of us posting. The thing about handling bullies is that if there was a way to handle them they could be handled.

I mean we have teachers trained to teach not trained to handle bullies. However this is slowly changing mainly due to the phoebe prince situation or teen suicide from bullying. This isn't an excuse. We also have different ages of teachers. Some who were brought up to face bullies like it was a right of passage. Changing societies view on something like bullying is not only hard but takes a long time.

All the stop and speak up ads on tv are pretty helpful. However you need to reform a school to actually take part in student lives. Not many teachers can do that and teach.

It's also not just teachers. Part of it is a parenting lesson to. I'm not blaming the parents however a lot of bullies bully because of dysfunctional or unfair life at home.

There's also the cliche school popularity hierarchy that makes bullying for popular boys and girls like an initiation.

There are way too many factors involved to put a stop to bullying. It's not exactly impossible but if all the factors aren't considered trying to stop bullying may cause more bullying. It's like an endless cycle of trying to do good but doing more harm. ( i haven't even mentioned all of them because everyone is different and has different reasons for bullying. I myself bullied, sighs because i was not fitting in with anyone. I stopped when I had that meeting with my peers and the teachers told them to let me take part in their fun because it meant my bullying would stop.)

I think you missed the point I am trying to make.

I am saying we shouldn't give bullies any excuse at all. By saying it's good in anyway, shape, or form it is giving an excuse for their behaviors. We shouldn't be looking for excuses, we should be looking for solutions to the problem.

Heck, you can always find some good in any situation. That, however, is only an excuse to make the situation seem better. This can lead people using such an excuse instead of actually fixing the the problem.

You would be shocked with how many people think this way.

Example:
Teacher 1: I see Jimmy is getting bullied again.
Teacher 2: Meh ... it's alright, they are just kids. Will give Jimmy thicker skin and make him stronger. He needs to learn to stand up for himself.
Teacher 1: Ya .. you are probably right.

End result = Nothing done. Jimmy continues to be bullied. All because of a stupid excuse.

I don't believe that should ever occur. I don't believe people should be encouraged to use such excuses, because people will literally ignore the underlying problem.

Liam wouldn't be wrong if people didn't do this. But they do.

---------- Post added at 10:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:02 PM ----------

Originally Posted by LittleLiam117

There's detention, there's grounding, there're plenty of prison-esque systems for youth to deal with as consequence. It's seen less in adulthood because, with maturity, people realize that it's wrong.

And no, that's not an excuse, that's a scientific fact. That's like me asking you to fly by flapping your arms, you explain to me that you can't because your arms are NOT wings, and then I call it an excuse. A scientific reason is not an excuse.

Hitting a child is wrong; unless it's by another kid, and only in certain circumstances. Children are much like dogs, actually, believe it or not. They're like dogs in the sense that, screaming and hitting will only make things worse. By hitting a child you teach them that, when someone isn't doing what you want, you should hit them and make them do what you want. That's not a smart lesson to teach.

Detention keeps you out of class. To a child .. it's a reward. Grounding?

Have you not ever met a bullies parents? .. they tend to hardly ground them. Heck most of them are completely oblivious to their childs behavior.

A lot of times the person who is bullied gets blamed. I have had this happen to me.

Edit: Another lovely excuse I have been told for others bullying me, It takes two to fight. Seriously? ok .. well ...It only takes 1 to start it. >.>

When I was a kid, even then I thought people where stupid for using such ridiculous excuses. How is it, something so obvious, can be so oblivious to others? If you give people excuses, they will use them to ignore issues.

[brabbit1987]

Originally Posted by Mute-Hexyz

This is a catch 22. I honestly think the only way there is going to be a solution to bullying is see every single reason people becomes bullies and give children better experiences at home and at school so they don't resort to bullying.

In order to see all the reasons why it happens we need to accept everyone's opinions and work with them no matter how ridiculous. Honestly the way this conversation has been going is the reason why finding a solution is nearly impossible. We all have to see eye to eye or the solutions used will just end up causing more problems like your example shows.

I suppose, but that is sort of my point to begin with.

We can't just talk about it. We really have to change the way we raise kids and really teach these things properly.

It isn't hard to test these things out. We have plenty of kids in the world to do studies and tests to see what works and what doesn't. The issue is .. we have to see this as a legit problem.

It's never been seen as a problem in the passed because we always used that excuse of growing thicker skin. I mean ... why else do you think it was ignored for so long?

[brabbit1987]

Originally Posted by Mute-Hexyz

It's kinda funny how we say we ignored it. Yeah we did ignore the problem. However i think it's only a bigger problem due to advanced technology. We have more ways to ruin someones life via the internet. Emotional injures tend to heal the slowest. so an attack via the internet by a bully might cause more emotional injuries than one can bear. The only reason bullying is making the news is because of the advancement of technology and the increase of suicides and how parenting becomes harder when kids have online friends as well as ones in person. No matter what happens this problem is way bigger than a mere group of people can handle. Now if say the government makes laws or reforms things permanently Like internet laws or school reform. We might have bigger messes to clean up that will take more than just time. It would take legal action to solve that mess. Perhaps this is something that needs more than our lifetime to solve.

This is untrue. There have been plenty of suicides in the passed due to bullying .. it just was never really publicized, people didn't take notice.

Or people simply just didn't care.

If you really want me to get into it, I will start posting sources to prove to you, it didn't just get worse recently due to tech .. it's always been bad.