discordant adoption (private for sissysnow)

[grandsword]

it was a common old regular day. and Jacob, a man of his 21st year was watching tv. he had a bit of a dead-end job at a comedy club, announcing performers on open mic night and tending the bar otherwise. although he did enjoy one aspect. and that was pulling his own jokes behind the scenes. yeah..the job itself was a bore, but spicing it up a bit? hilarious. a handful of itching powder for the performer's underwear before a gig, or a squeezing of jalapeno juice into a drunk patron's last shot..and at least he would get a laugh at the club. best part was, no one ever suspected the bartender, or if they did, didn't wanna slight the guy in charge of the booze. so, he had his fun, and had it free. it was like like a hilarious version of tenure.
but that wasn't the concern at the moment. now, his concern was kicking back and figuring out something to watch as he surfed the channels.

[SissySnow]

As Jacob flipped channels, he could see a constant image appear on each one. A strange creature made of many different animal parts was seen doing different things. He was wearing a chef hat. He was dancing the samba. He was in a war movie. He was giving a civil rights speech. Finally, the channels stopped. The creature was laying on a couch, mixing a drink with one of his claws. "Could you just pick something already?"

[grandsword]

Rather than act in shock, or surprise, or whatever it was people did when confronted with a creature from their tv, Jacob merely gave one of his patented smirks. "I would, but you see..it's far more amusing not to." He stated off handedly. Now, you may ask why he wasn't in a quivering mess of incomprehension at the idea of his tv talking to him. The answer was simple. He dealt with drunk comedians for a living. Correction, nonhumorous, drunk comedians. So..he was used to the insane. Plus, he wasn't exactly normal by his peer's standards, having some secret indulgences of a childish kind.

[SissySnow]

"Amusing... Heheh..." The creature gave a wicked smile, and slithered towards the screen. He placed a claw against the glass, and scraped, loudly, against it. "You don't know true amusement. You're but a child in my eyes." Discord slipped backwards onto the couch, and drank the cup out of his scotch. "Flip to four channels above this one."

[grandsword]

Jacob winced at the scraping. "Heh. Sure, what do I have to do other than listen when The centerpiece of celestial's garden gives an order.." He said, showing he knew who he was talking to. But didn't say the trickster's name, mainly for his own enjoyment. However, in a good mood, he did as discord said to, hitting four channels above the current one.

[SissySnow]

As soon as they reached the channel, Discord stepped through the TV. "Thank you, Jacob." He grasped the human, smirking. "Now, would you like to play a game? I love games~!" Discord yanked right into the TV, without waiting for a cry of protest.

[grandsword]

"Oh, shiitake mushrooms.." Jacob muttered, as he was taken.

[SissySnow]

Discord ripped his claws down the boy's clothes, and threw them aside. "Won't need those anymore~!" They appeared to be in a nursery. "Jacob, Jacob, Jacob... You know who I am~?"

[grandsword]

Jacob quickly covered himself. "Yes..and I've got no shortage of horrible fan fiction coming to mind right now.." He stated with a shudder. Oh god. The fan fiction about discord, and that entire fandom. Not all of it was bad, but some of it was pure sexual squick.

[SissySnow]

Discord laughed. "Oh, there's that humor I like~!" He snaked around Jacob, humming. "But, really, this isn't fiction. This is real life. And I'm really here. And you're here too." Discord stroked his beard. "Look around... What do I have in store for you?"