Insolent, Incontinent, Insufferable: Tales from the Royal Protectors

[iamjohndoe]

The train from Canterlot to the Gryphon lands was aging and rusted. The suspension had given out long ago (or it had been built before anyone had even heard of the notion of trains *having* suspension,) and so the floor bounced and rolled with every turn made by the metal death trap.

For a normal pony, the turbulence would have been sickening. But First Blush didn't mind it at all. She was curled up in a cot in the sleeping trolley, in her thin-frame rounded glasses and a fluffy salmon-colored dress, letting the shaking lull her in her sleep. The pony's slender face bore fluttering eyes and a soft smile.

Until the train braked, tossing the earth pony against the wall and rousing her. Extremely disoriented, she tried to make sense of her surroundings.

Shapes moved behind the windows, blurry shadows in the night sky. The door to the car slammed open, and a black-feathered gryphon rolled in on padded feet.

"Customs," he declared in a sharp and bitter tongue. "Have your papers ready."

[Silvertip]

Fafnir pulled out the packet of papers he had prepared for this trip from a pocket in his trench coat. "Here, now are we free to go?" he snapped.

At the same time, he kept one eye out for anything. After all, this wasn't a vacation for him and Blush. It was something more.

[iamjohndoe]

The gryphon was wearing a leather military jacket, dyed grey, and a matching peaked cap, red-trimmed with the Gryphon flag stamped front and center. His eyes were sunken in his head, his beak curled from years of frowning.

Leather. Leave it to the gryphons to figure out how to defile the bodies of animals by wearing their skin as clothing. Just thinking about what must have gone into the making of the uniform made Blush's skin crawl.

The soldier took Fafnir's packet and leafed through it. "What's a drake doing in Equestria?" he asked, spittle flying. "And what are you planning to do in Gryphon lands?"

[Silvertip]

"Go ask your CO or your leaders. I got hired to do something here," Fafnir replied. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have more important things to deal with than some low-level grunt."

He took his papers back and made a move to get his belongings and disembark.

[iamjohndoe]

(They're at the border, not at their destination. If Faf gets off now, he's in for a long walk.)

The gryphon muttered several things in his native tongue as he finished checking the papers before they were torn out of his hands. They did seem to be in order. "Fuckin' tourists. Always think the world should work for them. Papers, miss."

Blush handed her prepared manilla folder over, but her eyes were on the drake she swore looked familiar.

The grunt looked back and forth between Blush and her passport. "Really, faggot?"

"It's a mistake," said Blush, her voice strained.

"Sure it is." He dropped the papers and watched them flutter to the train floor. "I'm afraid we're going to have to do a pat down, miss."

"Why?" Blush smiled, but it tore at the edges of her mouth.

"Random inspection. Or maybe I don't like the sass mouth. Take off the dress."

[Silvertip]

(Fafnir's pissed off enough that he's not thinking straight.)

Fafnir then noticed a sign that said "Border Checkpoint".

"Fuck," he said as he flopped down on the seat. He winced as he heard a squishing noise come from underneath his trench coat.

He then looked around and noticed an oddly familiar Earth Pony mare.

[iamjohndoe]

Blush was still looking at the drake. Drakes tended to look pretty similar, in her opinion, so that didn't mean it was him, but part of her hoped.

"The dress, miss. We're on a tight schedule here."

Blush carefully undid the dress straps and stepped out of it, putting her diaper on display. "It's medical," she explained when she caught the grunt looking at it.

He guffawed. "You ponies keep getting dumber and weirder. If it were up to me, we'd put you in the cattle car where you belong." He circled around her until he was behind her, and then he grabbed her neck in one arm and her padded crotch in the other. "You're too fucking delicious to just walk around free-range, you know," he hissed into her ear. "You really want to wear diapers and play make-believe? I know a couple of things you can do."

Blush spotted movement in the corner of her vision but didn't look. She didn't want to see the grunt's forming hard-on. Instead she kept looking at the drake who was sitting in his seat.

[Silvertip]

Fafnir shivered as he heard the Gryphon mocking someone. He then noticed the target of the Gryphon's target – a diapered, pink Earth Pony mare.

He then noticed the mare looking at him. Pleading almost.

The Drake knew what was coming next and as an enlisted soldier, he wasn't going to allow it. He tossed his newspaper aside, went up to the Gryphon and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Let go of her," he growled, letting a wisp of hot smoke waft past the guard.

[iamjohndoe]

The grunt squealed when he saw Fafnir. He let go of Blush and almost fell on his rump. "This is none of your business!" he squeaked. "Do you want me to rescind your approval? I can make you wait in customs all night if you don't shut up and let me do my job!"

Blush didn't understand why the drake was defending her. Maybe he was just being a gentleman. Or maybe not. "Faf? Is that you?"

[Silvertip]

"Screening somepony does not involve publically fondling them!" Fafnir snapped. "Now you can either fuck off or I can tell your superior about your borderline sexual harassement!"

He then turned towards Blush. "How do you know—" He then looked over the diapered mare. "Wait, First Blush!? What a coincidence!"